Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Color Wheel Be Mine.

Is this not the cutest necklace.
Artist or not, you have to appreciate this clever packaging!

Modcloth has some interesting items, but i really love this necklace.
And the images are such an amazing quality. So very impressive.

Have a colorful day!
Jenipher :)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Random Acts of Kindness!!

This year for my birthday, i wanted to do something really special. I would like to have a Random Acts of Kindness week!!

Will you do something nice for someone else today, and/or this week? If you could post about your experience, [[and include images!!] that would be super amazing!

I would LOVE to blog about how much kindness can be done if we all band together!!

Thanks, Love, and SMILES!
Jenipher :)

^ example ^

Thursday, March 24, 2011

THANKFUL for a ME day!!

I am SO thankful for today. After a very stressful morning, i figured out what i REALLY wanted. A day for ME; no stress, no homework, just ME. My own day.

* I dyed my hair pink!

* My hair dresser is SO great!

* 50% a Heather's new book @ B&N.

* Yoga was so brilliant tonight.

* Talking with my room mate Mary.

* FINALLY bought a new bible. [33% off]

* My friend Michael’s e-mail. :D

* Had a WONDERFUL chat with Margaret!

* Free Chick-fila chicken sandwich!

* Free sundae at TCBY for my birthday.

but really....i'm MOST thankful because...

* I feel strong today.

Although, it wasn't the plan as i was creating my errand list for today, by golly! I DID get my ME day! It was so needed, and wonderful, and i internet-ed about it the whole day. I feel very hopeful tonight, unlike how i've felt in the last couple weeks. I'm so very thankful.

I hope you get to take a "YOU" day VERY soon!!

Smiles to you my lovely friends,

Jenipher :]

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Escapism via Balloon

[via tumblr]

I would like a balloon get away;
just letting the balloons fly away in the breeze of the day,
enjoying the sunshine on my face,
as the balloons swore and sway in the brilliant blue sky.

[via tumblr]

Do you ever just want to fly away? could fly away via air plane, but what fun is that?

Monday, March 21, 2011

Thank. Grateful. Changes.

I just wrote to my [potentially] new printer who [hopefully] is going to print all my prints! I am FINALLY feeling thankful and worthy of receiving this grant.

What a glorious feeling it is indeed.

And a real one.

I don't think i've enjoyed that many REAL, true, happy feelings enough in the last...many years, but very much so in the last 6 months or so. So many changes are happening, rapidly, i can barely keep up. In many cases, this is wonderful, but sometimes i feel as though i might get left behind. -- how i can get behind in my own changes? I have no idea. Fears are strange creatures indeed.

I wish you all a glorious evening, and am hoping each one of you is doing uniquely well!

Smiles to you,


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Life with Eating Issues.

The worst worst WORST part about seeking help for my eating issues is finally truly realizing that binge eating WONT make me feel better...and starving myself afterwards is not correct 'punishment procedure' after a binge.

My coping mechanism for ANYTHING at all has always been eating, including right now. Consuming way more cookies then deemed necessary after eating a large meal i didn't even enjoy, doens't logically make sense. ...Which is VERY interesting considering how logically i live my life is most other manners.

Could you IMAGINE how much we could do if we didn't feel any hindering emotions? If we didn't feel lonely, unworthy, over weight, 'stupid', inadequate? It sounds glorious doesn't it?

Now a days as I'm eating, I'm constantly aware that food won't change these horrid feelings; which in essences, takes away even the smidgen of 'happiness' that i used to feel from binge eating.

Add to the fact that there is NO REASON to stave myself or even take 'punishments' for my 'bad [eating] behavior'. All of this new reflection, awareness and change makes me feel like I'm drowning in a new way I've never felt before.

Coping, escapism, growing, learning, asking for help... My life right now is especially hard in ways I've always felt and never concurred.

There are days when i don't feel like it's going to get any better...that I've ever going to fully feel alive... but I'll just keep on swimming. The current has to slow down a little bit along the way, so i can at least coast until the next larger waves break.

Honestly and Sincerely,

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Isn't this the truth?
How often to you judge yourself?

Goodness...i know MY life would be easier if i stopped judging myself.

I hope you have a stress free day my lovely friends!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

fear = excitment

Pronunciation: /pər-ˈfek-shə-ˌniz-əm/
: a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable
especially : the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.

In essence...ME.

I am a HARDCORE perfectionist, which has hindered my life for over 20 years. In fact..the reason i haven't even written in this blog in SO long, along with not cooking, disliking my own business i spend hours creating, and hindering other areas of my life, relationships and physical body, are due to an unhealthy addiction of perfectionism.

It seems like a logical thing for many folk to just say "it doesn't have to be perfect" "it's great the way it is" "just DO it!" or "good enough". brain has never understood this way of thinking.

Instead... I reject myself, countless times, regardless of how much support I'm given, because nothing. was EVER enough.

Perfect enough.

Pretty enough.

Creative enough.

Thin enough.

Smart enough.

After talking with a consular, and some INCREDIBLE people in my life [Hello friends IRL and from Dream Boogie!!!] I am FINALLY making the brilliantly large task of taking the steps to REALISE and microMOVE away from this fear of un-perfection and failure.

It scares me to write this; for fear has always been my security blanket...but life is not fun this way, and will not FLOURISH in the way[s] i have faith it will if i continue to wear my perfectionism [and in return FEAR] as my [pseudo super hero] cape.
A very wise women named SARK told me tonight that FEAR and EXCITEMENT come from the same part of the body. Enjoy the exhilaration of fearful excitement!

I challenge you to take a step in the same direction!!
Smiles to you,
Jenipher :)