Monday, March 9, 2009

Bah Humbug!

Getting engaged is supposed to be this whirlwind of happy feelings. Love, devotion, joy. These feelings, the setting, this incredibly wonderful person in front of you. Life, in that moment, seems to be picture perfect.

Being engaged is supposed to feel like a new chapter. A chapter that shows your dedication to this one person, and preparing to start a real life with them. Forever. In most cases, I'm sure the act of becoming engaged starts a blissful new chapter for the couple.

In my case, it's what broke my relationship to pieces.

It's kind of a surreal feeling. Just sitting back and thinking about what can change in just a week. One week....

Exactly one week ago, i was sitting in my kitchen working out my relationship with my [obviously then] fiancee. We have had a tough month with quite a few tiffs, had a major fight, a five day separation [merely because i was already planning on visiting my mother that week]. But we were both game for taking time to work things out. He actually told me he was ready to work on it. He knew he let our issues coast before, but now he is finally 100% game to fix these "things". These tiffs.

So how am i single, and broken hearted one week later? You know...as much as i tried to mentally prepare myself, i am still shocked and confused.

All i know is that we had one more talk, which lead to an argument, and the next day he told me "we tried our best, but i don't feel like trying anymore". We did our best? Since when did 7 days become enough time to work out multiple issues?

Everyone keeps telling me at least you found out now. At least your not married yet. But i still feel deceived. A week ago, the man i was going to spend the rest of my life was explaining how much he loved me and wanted to make our lives together better. And one mere week later, I'm single, confused and have a heart that needs more chocolate then i care to consume.

I know ill be okay. That, in time, this won't hurt so much. But right now, this freaking sucks.


*note* this is really personal, and most likely shouldn't be shared. Alas, i care to share it anyways*

*PS: It's also kind of odd, that my previous post was about my last date with him*

3 comments:

Laura said...

Aww. I'm sure everything will work out in the end. You never know, but prince charming could be right around the corner :-)

ashleyrwatts said...

Aw, I'm so sorry honey. :(

Things happen, and they happen for a reason. And I know it's hard, but just keep your mind on other things - friends, your business, family, enjoying life and finding joy in the simple things. In time you'll find that it will be easier to keep your mind off of it.

If you ever need anyone to talk to - or just listen (I'm especially good at that :P), you can always give me a yell. :)

xo

margot said...

well i just read this so now i know why you're sad....keep your chin up lady!!! you will be ok!