[I heart quotes]

Today is a gift. That is why it's called the present. - Kung Fu Panda

The problem with not being hungry anymore..

..is never knowing when your full.

I haven't been hungry in about three weeks, so i've been making myself eat at least one real meal a day. But now that i'm home, we usually eat big meals or eat out, and i never can tell i'm full until it's to late. :(

I lose either way.

Diary of an Ex-Fiancée.

This ex-boyfriend/break up business freaking sucks. (why bother saying ex-fiancée since he didn't even really want to be engaged) It's kind of weird that to me, he was the boy i was planning on spending the rest of my life with. To him, i was his starter girlfriend.



I have learned a lot of information about myself and relationships in general though, which i suppose will help me in the present and future. And i have had a tremendous support system. Family, family friends, my S. Florida, Orlando and Internet friends...I'm a really lucky gal in that department.

Everyday gets a little easier, sometimes i feel like I'm going in reverse. Sometimes i feel like caving and talking to him, but most of the time I'm doing alright. I just hope it gets better soon. I need to get on with my life, without feeling hindered by my emotions.

Scrapbook Challenge

I signed up for a swell scrapbook swap with my Red Velvet class mates.

This was very good for me. It pushed me to really make something with a time limit. Which is something i need right now.





Obviously, when is started these pages last week i was in a very sad state. I'm not quite as sad as these pages project, but i still have a lot of healing to do.

I know i have a lot of work to do, creativity to find, and enough supplies to own an art store, so I'm hoping over time I'll get better and really enjoy crafts again.





Two of my class mates, Ashley and Laura started a scrapbook challenge blog that i'm very excited about! Check them out!!

Opperation: Retail Therapy

I have a really hard time spending money on myself. I'm very frugal. Alas, when i found all these amazing things at Marshell's, i decided to treat myself.

The best part? I used my birthday money from my Grandma and a random gift card i found and TA DA! I only paid 10$ of my own money.

Huzzah!!

Bugs are Ladies.

A lady bug landed on my book. Aren't they neat looking little creatues?

Oh, how i love bananas.

I've been writting blogs about how much i adore bananas, and was so so sad i finally had like 10 bananas, but they were all going bad. Alas, i made these wonderous muffins to save my bananas!

Banana Bread Recipe




Ingredients

* 3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed
* 1/3 cup melted butter
* 1 cup sugar (can easily reduce to 3/4 cup)
* 1 egg, beaten
* 1 teaspoon vanilla
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* Pinch of salt
* 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

Method

No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.



I made mine in a muffin pan instead of a bread pan, and added cranberries and walnuts and they were scrumptious. I highly recommend these, they were so tasty, and they stayed fresh for a whole week. (if you wait a whole week to eat them)

I wish i could call and tell you..

..but i can't.

Alas, i spoke to my grandmother today who finally said she approves of me going to church.

THIS calls for a celebration!

[a is for acomplish]

Although i don't know if it's completely blog worthy, i just wanted to share my accomplishments today thus far...

* I cleaned the whole bottom floor of my house.

* Did all the dishes and put them away.

* Wiped down counters, cleaned dust.

* Threw away old, broken CD cases. (Still looking for a place to donate all the old ones)

* Swept EVERYWHERE! Took a whole hour!

* Cleaned the bathroom.

For those of you who don't know me. I'm quite disorganized, i really don't love to clean. So this, especially right now, was quite an accomplishment. :)

i heart cupcakes.

Cupcake Earrings. $20.00

Two itty bitty handmade clay cupcakes, frosted and sprinkled with fun, and a Garnet cherry on top!! Daisy colored Freshwater Pearls dangle happily under the cake cups. All this goodness hanging on Silver toned, heart accented, ear wires.



Cupcake Necklace. $30.00

The title rings true with this fab cupcake necklace!

Itty Bitty handmade clay cupcakes, frosted and sprinkled with fun, and a Garnet cherry on top!! Butterscotch colored Jade accents this necklace nicely.

Kariokeeee!!!

So, i felt adventous tonight and i went to do karioke with my friend Marc and his friends. Soo scary!!





I want to do it again, but these time, i'd love for my knees not to shake while i'm singing. :)

New Goodies.

Okay! Finally! New jewels. Phew..it's been so long.

Opperation Become Human. :)

Okay, so obviously if you've read the past few posts of my blog then you know that i'm having a rough time right now. For the past two weeks i've just been this emotional lump. This is such a crazy process, and has been much more tramatizing them i ever imaged. I never quite realized how much i relied on Riley. I had no idea how helpless i could feel. I used to be such an indipendant person. I loved alone time, but still rejoiced time with friends and family. Where did that girl go? I lost her.



But alas, after finally getting the closure i needed, i realize that life will go on. It just has to. So...today is day one of "Opperation Become Human". (otherwise known to me as OBH) I have been running eronds all day today, bringing jewelry to shops that ive been needing to replenish all month, and going to a coffee shop just becuase i want to.

My day has actually been pretty wonderful. Here's the run down.



*Went to bed with the feeling "I can finally look in the mirror and see a girl who knows everything will be okay."

* Actually slept.

* Woke up, cleaned a bit, and ate breakfast. (mmm good breakfast, vegan corn chili)

* Went to the gallery i used to work at and talked to the fine ladies there. Dropped off "Jenipher Lyn" jewels.

* Made plans with a friend to have lunch and go to the museum tomorrow. Yay!

* Drove to the coffee shop and finally got some work done. (FINALLY!!)

* Randomly sold a harmonica to a nice gentleman who works at the coffee shop.

* Picked up a very nice consignment check from a lovely indie shop i'm in.

* R&R. Relaxed and Read magazines at B&N, just for me, nothing to do with Cherry Runway.

* My friend is coming over in ONE HOUR! to spend time with me and have dinner. Hopefully i'll make her go for a walk with me. :)

* Picked up my mail. Which has been empty for days. Today was a wonderful mail day though!

- The beautiful journals for a craft swap with the talented ladies in my online class.

- A really sweet note from two of the gals. Thank you so so much Laura and Ashley!

- A free sub coupon for Firehouse for my birthday.

- A consignment check from the gallery! Surprise surprise!

- A Bed Bath and Beyond coupon. (always fun, especially with all the gift cards i have from there)




I think that pretty much sums up my day. Today was a bright one. Tomorrow may be a hard one. I don't know really..i just know i need to lift my chin, realize it's all just going to be okay, and live my life.

I leave you with a quote from my room mate Josh...

People are going to live their life. You just have to live yours. - Josh

[untitled]

How come they always take the movies when we break up? I don't get it. I mean, i paid for half of all those movies. Heck! I even picked them all out. So why do they rightfully belong to him?

Oddly enough, i saw "Bride Wars" last night. The best part? EVERYONE cried, so no one knew i wasn't crying because of the saddness on the screen.

Time to work...on myself.

So, it's been a year and a half since I've had to only think about myself. I know it's one of my problems i have. I don't do enough things for myself alone, and honestly, I'm not good at it. I'm not even sure what i enjoy these days? So below is a list of things i want to do, for myself, without relying on anyone else. (or at least not on a man)

1) Learn to really enjoy life.
2) Work on projects for my online class!!
3) Sign up for a cooking class at Wholefoods.
4) Play my guitar, get inspired, write a song!
5) Figure out things that make me happy. Soon!
6) See Friends. At least twice a week. No excuses.
7) Find recipes that inspire me, and cook more!
8) Take more pictures of these i love. Food and etc.
9) Build a light box.
10) Successfully set up for my show this weekend. (I know this seems easy, but really, Riley set up EVERYTHING. The tent, table, display, so it's imperative, obviously, that i can do this myself. This Saturday. Ha.

I'm sure there are plenty more. But, this is enough to start on. By the end of the month, i'll let you know what i actually succeeded doing. :)

Bah Humbug!

Getting engaged is supposed to be this whirlwind of happy feelings. Love, devotion, joy. These feelings, the setting, this incredibly wonderful person in front of you. Life, in that moment, seems to be picture perfect.

Being engaged is supposed to feel like a new chapter. A chapter that shows your dedication to this one person, and preparing to start a real life with them. Forever. In most cases, I'm sure the act of becoming engaged starts a blissful new chapter for the couple.

In my case, it's what broke my relationship to pieces.

It's kind of a surreal feeling. Just sitting back and thinking about what can change in just a week. One week....

Exactly one week ago, i was sitting in my kitchen working out my relationship with my [obviously then] fiancee. We have had a tough month with quite a few tiffs, had a major fight, a five day separation [merely because i was already planning on visiting my mother that week]. But we were both game for taking time to work things out. He actually told me he was ready to work on it. He knew he let our issues coast before, but now he is finally 100% game to fix these "things". These tiffs.

So how am i single, and broken hearted one week later? You know...as much as i tried to mentally prepare myself, i am still shocked and confused.

All i know is that we had one more talk, which lead to an argument, and the next day he told me "we tried our best, but i don't feel like trying anymore". We did our best? Since when did 7 days become enough time to work out multiple issues?

Everyone keeps telling me at least you found out now. At least your not married yet. But i still feel deceived. A week ago, the man i was going to spend the rest of my life was explaining how much he loved me and wanted to make our lives together better. And one mere week later, I'm single, confused and have a heart that needs more chocolate then i care to consume.

I know ill be okay. That, in time, this won't hurt so much. But right now, this freaking sucks.


*note* this is really personal, and most likely shouldn't be shared. Alas, i care to share it anyways*

*PS: It's also kind of odd, that my previous post was about my last date with him*

Funday Fundate!

Riley created a really fun date for us on Thursday!!

He gave me an invitation (from one of my stuffed animals) that said there was a pizza and art festival day in "haraje" (haha get it? Garage?) (Yeah, it took me a while too) on March 6th and asked if he could attend too.

The next morning we walked to Publix to pick up the ingredients for the pizza then he told me to go upstairs until he came to get me.

He made the garage into a Art show and our stuffed animals were running it.





Then there was this mystery involved a stolen pizza. The "Black Duchess" (who hates art and colors) stole our pizza lunch!!!



"The mayor" gave us a map and we had a scavenger type hunt to find it. Ha! it was so cute!



We ended up finding the duchess' dunging (my mailbox) where the last note told us the pizza was hidden somewhere....

Orange
Violet
Evergreen
Neon Pink

And serious...it confused the heck outta me!! HAHAHA!! They spell oven!!!

It was a really cute date, and i appreciated it greatly!!!

Thanks Riley!! <3<3<3

[I heart Quotes]

'Life is too short to wake up in
the morning with regrets, so love
the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don't,
and believe that everything
happens for a reason. If you get a
chance, take it. If it changes
your life, let it. Nobody said
life would be easy, they just
promised it would be worth it.'

What am i thankful for? Journals!

I have trouble just letting go creatively, and it makes me incredibly sad. I judge everything i do so harshly that i barley try to go beyond my box.



I joined an online art class with Elsie and Rachel and love it! While in a chat we all (I'm assuming it's not just me) are avid clickers to read each others blog. Janel's blog really inspired me. So much that for the 1st time i wrote in a journal that i am not deeming my "art journal". I really hope i get to continue this venture, weather it's consist or not, weather my work is wonderful or not.

Welcome.
To.
My.
Journal.